She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
