Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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