Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize