absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
