Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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