Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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