bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize