she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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