I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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