whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
