i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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