He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
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I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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