First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
