He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
