I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize