summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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