I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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