if you like me you must not know who I am
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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