I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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