found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
