Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
