So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
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Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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