you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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