Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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