I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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