I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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