She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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