I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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