in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
