she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wish my penis had a tongue
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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