Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
