If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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