my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize