Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
