it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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