Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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