She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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