At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
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you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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