he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
