Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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