u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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