Whod you bang
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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