Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
