But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
