I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
