Christians are straight up FREAKS
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
