Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize