I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize