I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
