This girl is more easily done than said...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
