my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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