My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
