he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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