i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize