I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
