this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
