It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
