im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize