it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
